Emotional Champ
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: “I’m going back to LA”, she whispered and immediately shut her eyes. She hadn’t completely decided to go back, but now she had to. Brooke was gonna be pissed. LPish


**Still don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Emotional Champ" by New Buffalo (it plays during that scene).**

Alright so the whole 'He's not good enough for you' quote so far is the quote of the season. This was written in pure bliss of that one scene and my foolish thoughts that he was calling Peyton. For like a fleeting second I thought it would happen, but whatever.

Just a one-shot

* * *

_We are one, we are  
Two people inside one body  
Our own disgrace  
Emotional champ so sorry_

The two best friends sat at the kitchen counter. Brooke's ice cream had long since been replaced by a bottle of tequila. Peyton grimaced as she threw her head back and let the liquid burn her throat.

She knew the effects this specific type of liquor had on her; in senior year it caused her to blurt out the fact that she basically loved Lucas. In her sophomore year of college it led her to belt out a very off key version of 'Spice Up Your Life' in front of a crowd of strangers at a McDonald's. Then in her junior year, on the night of what would have been her third anniversary with Lucas she got a tattoo; which of course nobody knew about.

None of these thoughts stopped her as she poured herself another shot.

"So, P. Sawyer what was the problem with the cute bartender?" Brooke rasped out. The blonde shrugged and swallowed the liquid before speaking.

"Just wasn't into it."

"That's it?" the brunette asked disbelievingly.

She poured herself a fourth shot and waited for Peyton to pour what must have been her tenth. She knew it was evil, but she knew the effect this had on Peyton. When they were fourteen, good ole' tequila made Peyton fess up to her secret crush on Tim. When they were fifteen Peyton grabbed Brooke's hand and ventured into the ocean for a late night skinny dip. It also helped her realize that Nathan Scott was not the man she would marry.

Basically, tequila made Peyton open up and that's all that Brooke needed right now. She knew Peyton was holding back about why she had come home.

"Yeah, no – he was great", she stopped her sentence and lifted the small glass to her lips "he's just not good enough for me", she swallowed the bitter liquid and shook her head at the feeling.

Brooke raised a brow at her drunken friend's words. "Well, someone's on a high horse", she mumbled with a smile.

Peyton shook her head fervently. "Not my words."

Brooke waited for Peyton to continue, but decided to question her when Peyton stayed silent.

"That stupid blonde said it", she grumbled while trying to find her shot glass. There were too many in front of her.

Brooke ignored Peyton's protest as she took the bottle from her hands and placed it further away from the blonde. "Lucas?" Brooke asked in shock. He truly seemed happy with Lindsey, but apparently the poor girl was just another road bump in the epic romance of Lucas and Peyton.

"Do you know another blonde?" she paused for a moment, "besides me?"

"Okay Peyton, I need you to focus for me" she grabbed her friends face in her hands and concentrated on her eyes. "How did you feel when Lucas said that?"

_No sleep tonight  
Only sweet reminders  
Say keep tonight  
Cause it's all I wanna  
Do_

"I was pissed", she said bluntly. "Lucas can have _Lindsey_, but I can't even flirt with a guy? I mean it's not like I was gonna sleep with him or freakin' propose. And you should have seen his face; you'd have thought I was flirting with his brother . . . if he had a different brother that wasn't married or that I hadn't already dated, you know---"

"Peyton", Brooke stopped what she was sure would be a drunken ramble, "all it did was piss you off?" she asked softly. The blonde stared down before looking back into her brown eyes. Brooke noted her somber expression and felt that whatever she was going to say would be deep.

"It's like Lucas can always move on. I know that junior year I sucked cause I went out with Lucas when you were together, but after I ended things he went out and slept with Nikki the bar slut. He came to see me before he left and he sounded so sincere in everything he said, but he comes back after like two hours and starts a thing with Anna. Then you tell me about the 'Peyton Box', but he spent the entire summer whining about you. Then we get together and he tells me all these amazing things and that he loves me and stuff about dreams, but then we break up and he jumps into a relationship with her. I just always feel like he means more to me then I do to him", she finished with water filled eyes.

Brooke stared at the blonde in shock. A lot of the things she had said hit a nerve. It was painful for Brooke to relive those memories and she was over Lucas; she couldn't imagine how Peyton felt. She lifted her hand and wiped at her own stray tears before wiping Peyton's. "At least Anna turned out to be a lesbian", Peyton's laugh filled the room and Brooke laughed along.

The laughter died out and Peyton spoke again. "Yeah, I had Jake and what he and I shared was amazing, but I never went looking for it. When I first even starting looking at him like that it was because of the bar slut thing and Lucas seemed to be moving on. Then Lucas called him, so it was like I had to go out with him. Then I finally think that maybe I'll look for love, I'll go out there and search for it, and I screw myself over."

Brooke grabbed Peyton's hand and rubbed it reassuringly. "Why don't you go to bed?" Peyton nodded and slowly stood from the stool.

"Hey P, Lucas has _always_ loved you a lot more then he let on", Peyton smiled sadly at her friend's words and walked to her room.

_We are one we are  
Shaping signs from nothing  
We are done we are  
Forgetting this means everything_

"_**He's not good enough for you."**_

Why did he have a big mouth? Why was he so overcome with the need to tell her exactly what was on his mind at that moment? He would always remember the way she tensed when he grabbed her, that look on her face after he spoke those words, and the pain in her eyes as she yelled at him outside.

He was jealous. He was the first to admit it, though not aloud. To see her openly flirting with another guy while he was there made him mad. At some point before his small outburst he should have realized that she wasn't his to preserve like that. They were broken up. Just another statistic of high school sweethearts.

But he knew that would never apply to them. _High school sweethearts_. Yes, they were in high school, but their feelings surpassed any raging hormones or declarations of love that were said because it felt like they had to. They had true love. A love that every single person searches for and may never find.

He sat on his bed tossing his phone from one hand to the other. He knew he needed to make this phone call. He knew he shouldn't make this phone call. He knew he shouldn't _want_ to make this phone call. He sighed and flipped open his phone before dialing the number he would always know by heart.

The phone on the other end rang and he quickly glanced at the clock. Two in the morning. She was going to love this.

She groaned and blindly searched for the source of the noise. "Hello?" she grumbled without looking at the caller i.d.

Lucas sucked in a breath at the sound of her voice. His sudden thoughts of apology and begging for forgiveness flew from his mind. "Hello?" she spoke a bit louder. When she got no answer she sighed and spoke again, "Alright person without a clue, it's two in the morning and I'm not exactly—"

"Hey", he finally found his voice. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up in bed.

"What do you want?"

"Meet me—"

Before he could finish his sentence she ended the phone call. He quickly dialed her number again and waited until her voicemail picked up. He called again three more times with no luck. He finally decided on an easier method; he sent her a text.

**Rivercourt in 10, please.**

He shut his phone and grabbed his car keys.

_No sleep tonight  
Only sweet reminders  
Say keep tonight cause it's all I wanna  
Do_

She didn't know what she was doing here. She was tired and still slightly drunk. Not to mention she was pissed off at him. Why the hell was she even here? Her green eyes met his blue.

_Because she was still in love with him._

His eyes locked with hers and he had to bite his cheek to stop from smiling. His eyes roamed her face. Her cheeks were slightly flushed; he knew she had been drinking and he knew it was because of him. Her eyes held so many different emotions he couldn't read them.

Peyton tried not to notice his eyes scanning her face. She threw her walls up and placed a scowl on her lips. "You've got a lot of nerve."

"I know and I—"

"Seriously, I mean its two thirty in the morning and you suddenly need to talk to me? I shouldn't even be here. You don't deserve any of my time, especially after the way you acted tonight."

Lucas clenched his jaw at her words.

"Oh, I'm sorry", he replied sarcastically.

"John was a—"

"John?" Lucas spat out like a bad taste in his mouth.

She raised a brow and not in the way that let him know she was trying to be sexy, but in the way that let him know she was pissed; which he still found ironically sexy.

"He was really nice, Lucas."

"You deserve better." She rolled her eyes as a response.

"So I've heard."

"I'm serious Peyton, a bartender? Come on."

"Like who? Who would be good enough for me? Who is going to live up to your expectations?" she asked bitterly.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and lowered his gaze to the floor. This was not how he saw this conversation going. Her eyes widened and any lingering buzz she may have had disappeared.

"This is not happening!"

"Peyton, if I could just—"

"NO. You have no reason to say anything. There's nothing to discuss. You had no right to say that tonight!" she yelled into the still air.

"I'm just trying to protect you!" he shouted back.

She laughed bitterly and shook her head.

"I'm so tired of people really thinking that. I'm tired of them choosing not to see the things you do or hear the things you say. I look like the crazed ex-girlfriend and I'm not. Everyone is so convinced that your happy with Lindsey that they think I'm crazy. Lucas, it really isn't fair to me", instead of sounding angry like she did earlier, her voice was tired and sad.

"I'm sorry Peyton."

_All I wanna do  
Emotional champ so sorry  
All I wanna do  
Emotional champ so sorry_

"I'm going back to LA", she whispered and immediately shut her eyes. She hadn't completely decided to go back, but now she had to. Brooke was gonna be pissed.

"Why?" he asked frantically. She couldn't leave, not now . . . not ever again.

"Because I can't stay here and have everyone hate me and assume that I'm going to ruin you and Lindsey like I did you and Brooke."

He took a step closer to her and bravely reached a hand out to her. His hand cupped her cheek and for a fleeting moment she thought about pulling back, but then his thumb caressed her skin.

"You didn't ruin me and Brooke. It was always about you and me", he assured her softly as she finally relaxed and leaned into his touch.

Her eyes closed and she let out a sigh. "It doesn't matter", she took a step back, but he grabbed onto her hand before she could really move.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted nothing more then to feel her lips move with his in a sweet motion that only they knew existed. He couldn't do that though. It would be a crappy place to put her in.

"I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer."

_That's a lot better_, he thought to himself.

Her heart soared before crashing to the ground.

She shook her head. "You love Lindsey."

He stared at her for what felt like the millionth time. He couldn't deny that. Over the years Lindsey had become a large part of his life. She was his girlfriend. He cared for her, he did love her.

Peyton leaned up to kiss his cheek. She was hoping that he would tell her that he didn't love Lindsey or that he loved her more. Her hand rested on his chest over his heart and she spoke.

"I'll be seeing ya."

He watched her walk away and was brought back to that moment all those years ago. But unlike then he wouldn't call out her name. He needed to let her go, for now at least. He had too many loose ends that needed to be sorted. But he had one end that was perfect.

"But I'm in love with you", he whispered into the early morning air.

And it led to her.

* * *

So this was random and sorry if it seems jumbled, it's late. I know that it's not exactly a happy ending, but it gives some hope. Let me know what you think! 


End file.
